You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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