The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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