I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
