Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
