I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
