he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize