That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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