i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize