My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
