But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need a beard to bite.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
