Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
