the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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