Christians are straight up FREAKS
420 ftw
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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