Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
