Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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