He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
