Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
