And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
