New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
