Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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