God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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