A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
