i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
