Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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