I feel great
I just peed on a car
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?