Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's always time for handjobs
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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