I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm passing your future prison.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.