discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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