weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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