I'm lost and stupid without you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
