doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
porn star boner night. come get it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
