I wish I could teleport
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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