Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
