Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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