is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
even my farts smell like vagina
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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