I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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