shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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