She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
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We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
why is half of my head shaved?
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