the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
