Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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