Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
