i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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