Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
