this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dignity is for republicans.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
