also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
