Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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