the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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