So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
