: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
