I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
