Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
