Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
