Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
