they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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