I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
