I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
