...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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