how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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