I am in a vortex of obligation.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
